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  • Gretchen Peiffer

I had to go through the dark to rekindle the spark within myself

We all go through journeys of self-discovery, but through turning to meditation and energy healing, I became more aware of the person I was before I lost myself in the illusion of the reality that we create out of our experiences. This has helped me to gain my power back and become independent. I wasn’t even aware that I retained past hurts that were creating a false reality because I was suppressing this. I learned how important it is to share our emotions and not hold back. What happens when we hold back? We develop physical pains and, we start to take medication to make them go away. But if we keep suppressing them and a colleague or friend triggers us in the future, it all explodes in our face.

The journey for me started when I got a nudge from my intuition that I was capable of doing something more. I didn’t know back then what that meant, so I kept looking and digging. When Corona started, I realized, I have been the underdog for quite some time. I have been: underestimated, undervalued and this caused me to be a people pleaser. My inner child was asking for my attention, but I kept ignoring myself until a point when it all boiled up and it was time for me to confront myself.

That gut feeling helped me to see the importance to stop running away from past hurts and trauma. We all have these unconscious patterns and behaviors due to conditioning originating from childhood. I started to meditate, and that helped me to find the answers that I needed to find. See, we don’t need approval and validation from other people. We already have what it takes inside of us. We just don’t know until it’s time.

That’s why I wanted to tell this story because I have learned that upbringing is so important. We have to be there for our kids. Unfortunately, some parents pay too much attention to their phones, not seeing that their child needs attention and care. For me, it was my father not allowing me to move around as a child, which translated back to my life because every time someone disliked a part of me, I only wanted to hide it in the future.

Luckily we have all those people around us to make us aware of that. Everyone discovers this at his or her own pace. There is no deadline or time. Friends might hurt us, but I refuse to see it as something negative, the triggers I got helped to lead me back to my authentic self. It felt like a Pandora box had opened, but after a while, I felt more comfortable because it is like every time I have healed a part I have gotten to know a new part of me that hasn’t been there before.

Speaking of our upbringing, I even denied my Filipino background because some people were telling me, “You are here in Belgium.” Later I have discovered that I am a Filipino at heart, and I have felt homesick many times. I thought: how could I have been hiding the best part of myself. So no longer resisting anymore and letting all come to the surface. The right people will stay around me.

After I did the inner work, I discovered my true strength, and I even received more than I already had. I activated that inner life force energetic healing. The external only can change when we decide to have a good look at ourselves and change from the inside out. Blaming each other only makes things worse. It was easier than I thought to confront my inner child. I have found out that our energetic system: chakras are as important as physical exercise every day. If we stay high vibrated, we keep aligning with our soul and life purpose. That’s what happened to me.

I got from feeling like the underdog to a point where I can do something to inspire others. See, everything that we have been through happened for a reason. I am grateful for everyone who has helped me, good and bad, to get me to this point right here. If we keep our energies balanced it becomes easier to face ourselves and rewrites our story.

Next time someone has an opinion about you or wants to decide for you, please stay true to yourself. They don’t know what you have been through. Don’t lose yourself in others. People come and go, you are the one who is staying. I would never trade my life for someone else’s life.

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